The Rules of Law

A running compendium of rules we've found through live laugh love litigating our way through this crazy profession we call law. Inspired by Matt Levine's Laws of Insider Trading.

Attorney Discipline

Rule #1 of attorney misconduct: Don't do it.

Rule #2 of attorney misconduct: Don't leave another attorney a voicemail stating that you intend to commit attorney misconduct later that day if that attorney doesn't do what you want. In re Petition for Disciplinary Action against Hacklander, No. A25-0064.

Check Forgery

Rule #1 of check forgery: Don't do it.

Rule #2 of check forgery: Don't forge a check payable to the court which just convicted you of possession of burglary tools. State v. Arnold, No. A25-0104.

Destruction of Evidence

Rule #1 of destroying evidence: Don't do it

Rule #2 of destroying evidence: If you're going to try to eat the methamphetamine in your possession during your arrest, make sure you succeed in eating enough to avoid the weight necessary for a first-degree possession charge. State v. Tanna, No. A24-1676.